mine me my*
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hellos stalker
 SOmetimes itS EaSier to Do ThinGs iN its SimPLe WayS.. History
credits
skin made by me {fisha} and thanks for them , electricshock , tiqah ,
zara , wana and afiqah for awesome tuto and freebies.
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`DoomS for exam sigh. sadly tmr is the start of war.. yea 1st day of exams.. hahas.. thx CAS for writing in my diary with decorative words (start of war) and (end of war) during the exam weeks! i love them <33 ^^ hmm.. im kinda troubled >.< i think that this is the very 1st time i feel so anxious for exams. unlike in sec sch (ignoring sec1 & 2 -where i din know EXAMS are important - what a "no-life" life i had .__.) hais~ hmm other than 'o' levels and final year i really dont think i would have felt so anxious for exams. idk why. its not that i have the feeling that i will score badly or wad-so-ever. but tmr's exam is just making me nervous for no reason. come'on its ONLY MATH~ that's the point! i've never EVER studied for a math test. all the so-called-studying-for-math was like.... flip to summary page and revise the formulas.. thats was done in 5 mins! hais~ perhaps its the people arnd me.. i can feel that they are studying so hard for all papers.. but me? -SLACKER- and yet i do better than them.. i feel really really bad.. sigh~ i cant help it.. i know i need to do well and i cant let my grades drop because im guilty scoring better than you.. so.. wad m i supposed to do? maybe its time for me to reflect.. avoiding asking marks of other ppl cox i'll hurt them somehow when i tell them mine.. some papers to me.. passing is enof.. even if its the same for others i feel bad when i do better when passing was the only criteria i set for myself.. yes. i set my own target-marks after every paper.. my parents dont give me stress bout results cox they think that as long as u tried ur best its enof.. "tried my best".. hmm thats where my target-marks come.. the maximum i can do.. (sometimes i think that getting "maximum" is even more stressful than reaching a particular grade >.<) some ppl say those marks i set are so high [hahas. REALLY?] but when i reached it, im contented. if i dont, i feel kinda sad (erm not to the extent of crying) i think i will only cry if i failed the test when i could pass or maybe too ANGRY WIF MYSELF? [nvr cried even when i failed amaths last year =/] i dont think im the type who cry easily over results though.. hmm.. if i can make a simple wish.. pls someone else please take the first-in-class female rank!(-kinda racist but i dont feel good winning/losing to a guy) or at least show me that u r here! doing better than me in everything! i want you to be my opponent! i wish thr will be a good-in-everything girl who will compete wif me and win me! u r not hurting me when u do better.. u r actually indirectly motivating me to do better! its a very hard-to-fulfill wish =( how i wish u r here ALPN.. be my opponent even if i dont say it out.. (hahas it will be less embaressing when i lose >.<) im glad u're thr in sec sch... ... GOMENASAI~ (aka sorry in jap) its a reaally looong post again.. this only shows how long and complicated my thoughts can be hahas. pls dont mind me >.< |