mine me my*
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hellos stalker
 SOmetimes itS EaSier to Do ThinGs iN its SimPLe WayS.. History
credits
skin made by me {fisha} and thanks for them , electricshock , tiqah ,
zara , wana and afiqah for awesome tuto and freebies.
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`Conclusion im actually quite happy that im kind of heartless, this makes every new day a better one.. even though ytd was a pretty bad day for me but im glad today im feeling much better :)) maybe cos my flu has partly gone away.. oh well x: i read my prev post and came up with a conclusion.. yup so its not worth it and im pretty happy with myself seeing thru it.. no one can make a perfect decision that can lead to happiness.. u chose this, she is happy but he is not.. you can never make everyone happy.. so yup.. anw cont with ytd.. i dint help her collect her pchem ppr cos i know i wont see her in the week so what for help to take the ppr.. lol.. then i hlp xy take cos i will see her tmr and also cos she replied instantly.. i mean like ya? u dont reply then expect me to wait there meh.. LOL.. so this org ppr she help xy take and nvr take mine.. ok lor i unds very much frm ur action.. ~.~ when im down there thinking oh ya me n xy havent take yet.. so wanted to take tgt.. but wadever.. u can say it as miscomm or jus cos we dont see each other anw.. so wadever.. it hit me pretty hard to know the selective decision but wadever.. this clique was never strong in bond to begin with.. maybe its my problem maybe its not.. im not the kind who can make frenship deepen with time and easily make frens.. ppl feel i always hide things frm them but actually no.. its becos i basically dont have alot to share.. and i dint hide anything.. if u observe, u will know i always talk about my family and not about my animes, my games and not my studies.. becos anime is not a common topic.. if i cont to blabber about my studies u will think im proud and clever that i can handle academic stuffs so effortlessly.. which idw cos idk how to encourage ppl to learn by themselves.. family is a big part of me and it seems i have this difficulty to accept a new person in my life whatever the relationship is with that person.. i hate to admit but i have to.. i have trust issues.. to know someone will never betray me is hard.. very hard.. not like i've been backstabbed or wadever before.. but i jus cant trust.. so i start to believe that its actually good to not be so clingy on human relationship.. as though im on a journey to mature to be an angel in the heavens.. decide what to do to contribute to the society and the world.. maybe that was my spark in pursuing green chemistry.. to make the world a better place.. but that doesnt solve what im feeling right now.. the loneliness and sadness that i need to go thru with each relationship built im tired of asking.. it makes me feel stupid when im always informing others what im going to do next when they are not going to tell me what they will do until i ask.. i just dont like the idea of not being told or informed of a decision.. so ive decided to put up myself as heartless as i can.. so no one will ever find out that im actually a weak strawberry.. i dont need to feel the tension of each wrong sentences ive made becos i know u wont be by my side if i was so heartless to u.. i give up on trying to give wad i actually want to feel.. |