mine me my*
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hellos stalker
 SOmetimes itS EaSier to Do ThinGs iN its SimPLe WayS.. History
credits
skin made by me {fisha} and thanks for them , electricshock , tiqah ,
zara , wana and afiqah for awesome tuto and freebies.
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`Disappearance I wanna just try and disappear for a week.. cos im feeling really needy and negative now that mp is "ignoring" me.. i know she isnt.. just too busy with her stuff.. but im really bored.. cos i cant get a job and had been rotting for two weeks alr.. I tried to get myself addicted to games again.. but it didnt work.. and i recalled how much i love logging on to maple and playing it every single day.. but today.. half an hour of a game i used to love is enough to make me sick of it.. is it because i stopped gaming for maybe about 3years? im not sure.. but i really enjoyed chatting with my online frens and doing stupid shit tgt.. now that my graphics card is spoiled and i cant really play a game on my laptop now.. maybe its a good thing. So for the past 3years i've been hooked on animes.. i think thats when i started my very first anime Maid-sama.. its really nice and usui is like the hottest guy ever! but recently im kinda sick of anime alr.. i loved one piece because i can watch the series nonstop! but when i chased it so hard till now i have to wait weekly for one short 15min episode.. nahh im going to let it pile up.. So now im stuck.. fb twitter instagram fb twitter insta.. theres like nothing to do and im very bored.. i start thinking how useless im.. how fren-less.. u know this fren-less issue might just be my negativity that im so lousy that i dont have much frens to talk with.. but given my alr quiet nature.. its very hard to keep a convo going on and on.. im still greedy and hope i have many frens but im happy and contented that some still stick arnd me.. maybe our 'clique' wasnt quite one to begin with.. more like convenient frens and jus nice to eat tgt sit tgt attend lessons tgt.. but i would also say being with a silent gang is very comfy.. i dont feel awkward and can do wadever we want.. jus maybe no more playing cards cos here is uni. haha. ah yes so my phone is really lying there and no one will call or even text me lol its q pathetic in the sense of social life.. but when i look at my mom and dad.. they have us as company and we have them.. i dont see wads wrong in having such a close and happy family but.. at this age i start to worry about leaving them and setting up my own.. with no one in my sight.. and no one to talk to w/o feeling like a nuisance/burden.. im drowning in my negativity.. i know its never too old to make a change or to adapt.. when i thought of how foolish i was to not think of these frens are frens of convenience or wad not.. i realise i dint put in effort to make them my frens.. cos i tot once frens is forever frens.. bonds are such easily broken when u move from one phase to another.. just by changing your sch.. changing ur schedule.. and 'pak' just grew apart.. so this week im going to do an experiment.. no matter who text me or find me i will not reply.. i will not go onto facebook or whatsapp cos i wanna completely disappear from my closest frens.. and non-contactable.. take time off and do stuffs i want to do.. inculcate my hobby, do something for myself.. and to adapt to the me i was before.. idk how i did it but i managed to continue to be not so sociable and people still accept me.. or maybe not.. cos im not a fun person.. haha.. i need to stop being jealous of so many little things and try so hard to meet with other people.. tell/update them my stories and depend on them to make an effort for me.. because my life.. as boring as it already is requires no update? i dont have a very fulfilling life to brag about.. nor are my interests so significant to share about.. or do i read alot to do story telling.. or keep myself on the news to talk about them.. its just the me scrolling facebook, twitter and instagram, watching anime learning nothing at all each and everyday repeatedly.. |